Poem: November 13, 2010

When I was a little girl, I always drew my house with Mommy, Daddy, and myself

I always thought that Mommy and Daddy would live forever and ever

That was until November 13, 2008

That was when my heart shattered into millions of pieces

The angel from above took Daddy away from me

Daddy was always in an out of my life

He was a good dad

The decisions that he made were not

But I always loved him no matter what

When I was eleven

The time that I was entering middle school

Also going through that weird thing called puberty

I did not hear from my dad for a year

 Then I heard that he was locked up in jail

And I did not know for how long the bars of his cell would keep him from me

My heart started to shatter like glass

This was only the beginning of the long and difficult journey that was still ahead

Later I found the evil monster; nicknamed cancer invaded his body that started with his lungs

My heart then again shattered more

He was released from jail so he could get better

I was happy to see him

But I did not want to see him like this

The monster consumed not only his lungs but the monster masked my Dad

He was not the same person that I have always known

He was not the Dad that I have shared giggles with as a little girl

He was not the Dad that I shared Saturday morning cartoons

He was a not only a new person but a stranger

As time passed on like a boulder going down a mountain

The monster was pursuing its goal of taking my dad away from me

The boulder was about to reach the ground

The stranger that I have known for the last month

Was laying on a hospital bed, dying, reaching for his last breath

The boulder reached the ground and my heart shattered like glass

The stranger that took over my Dad’s body was gone

So was my father

And he was gone for good

Many people called this day November 13, 2008

I call this day the worst day of my life

My mother told me the news that day

All I heard was the words running out of her mouth

“Your father…..is ….. gone”

How could a mother tell her child those words in the same sentence

Tears ran down my face like a stream

Tick tok Tick tock Tick tok

That was the sound of the clock moving forward

But my heart and brain was still in the past

My mother tried to comfort me

But it was not the same

He was my one and only dad

No one could replace him

That was my excuse for not moving on

He was gone

That was a fact

I cannot move on with my life

That is an opinion

I let those words consume with my life

I let those words hold me back

But I am stronger

I am in control with life

I am going to move forward with my life

I am going to do what I want to do

I am going to dream what I want to dream

This is my life

I am in control

Like my father would want for me