Work Cited

Karakartal, Demet. "Investigation Of Bereavement Period Effects After Loss Of Parents On Children And Adolescents Losing Their Parents." Online Submission (2012): ERIC. Web. 23 Mar. 2013.

Heather Servaty-Seib, et al. "Bereaved Adults' Evaluations Of Grief Management Messages: Effects Of Message Person Centeredness, Recipient Individual Differences, And Contextual Factors." Death Studies 32.5 (2008): 399-427. ERIC. Web. 23 Mar. 2013.

Jakobsen, Ida Skytte, and Erik Christiansen. "Young People's Risk Of Suicide Attempts In Relation To     Parental Death: A Population-Based Register Study." Journal Of Child Psychology And Psychiatry 52.2      (2011): 176-183. ERIC. Web. 23 Mar. 2013.

Morgan, James P., and Jesse E. Roberts. "Helping Bereaved Children And Adolescents: Strategies And Implications For Counselors."Journal Of Mental Health Counseling 32.3 (2010): 206-217. Academic Search Complete. Web. 27 May 2013.

Documentary

 Here is the link to my documentary: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5oCDkJyu8g++++++

There is a Brighter Side Speech

The death of a parent is one of the most difficult obstacles that a child will ever face. It is not an everyday situation that is normal for a child to face. However, it has a great impact on the child’s life. Stated in the article “Investigation of Bereavement Period Effects After Loss of Parents on Children and Adolescents Losing Their Parents”, “…states that a child who loses one or both of his/her parents not only feels sad but also experiences a serious confusion in his/her life and may tend to face psychological problems in their future life”(Karakartal 38). It is a long journey for a child to accept the fact that their parent has passed and to move forward. In many cases, a child may never move on and to become depressed or to cause self-harm. When a child experiences death, many look for comfort from family and friends. However, friends and family do not know how to comfort these children due to the fact many feel clueless. Furthermore, many counselors do not understand how grieving differs from each age group. Also do not know what types of methods can be used when to help a child’s grief. Knowing what advice is helpful, knowing the grieving process in different age groups, and knowing the impact that the loss of a parent can have is the key to help children accept that their parent has passed and to move forward.

 According to the article , “Bereaved Adults’ Evaluations Of Grief Management Messages: Effects Of Message Person Centeredness, Recipient Individual Differences, And Contextual Factors”, “…grief, along with its associated thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, is one of the most powerful emotions that humans experience, so research examining how communication affects grief may afford considerable insight about how messages can influence emotional states, as well as how emotions influence the processing and outcomes of messages” (Rack Burleson  Bodie 399). The results of this research showed that the most helpful advice used were the ones that categorized as “being there”, rather than the advice that suppressed the person that is grieving feelings. The “being there” advice included “I am here for you”, “If you need company, I am here for you”, and “I am nearby if you need me.” Advice that suppressed the person that is grieving feelings included, “You should keep busy”, “You must get on with your life”, and “When you feel bad you should exercise.”

According to the article “Helping Bereaved Children and Adolescents: Strategies and Implications for Counselors”, “Children at different developmental levels perceive death differently. An understanding of these differences is essential if we are to effectively help children understand and cope with their grief” (Morgan, Roberts, 206). For instance, preschool children (age 3-6), tend to ask questions about the loved one who has passed, which includes questions about biological functions. Also, they believe that death is only temporary and the loved one will return shortly. When grieving a loved one, teenagers tend to take risk to near death actions and wonder what happens if they die. Knowing the grieving process for each age group will assist counselors on the techniques that are needed with working with grieving children and young adults. For example, young clients that are having difficulty expressing their emotions, drawings can be used to express these emotions. This will allow “a more open-ended unfolding of issues.”

In the article, “Young people’s risk of suicide attempts in relations to parental death: a population-based register study”, “Some studies have found that loss of a parent may also be a risk factor for suicide attempts in adolescents” (Jakobsen, Christiansen, 176). Although children, who have lost a parent tend to show that they have accepted what has happened, many do not, and may attempt self-harm such as suicide. It is important to know what trajectory that a child may take if they have struggle with their grieving because in order to come up to a solutions to a problem, we need to identify the risk to our problem so that it can be prevented.

In order to assist a child to accept that their parent has passed on and to move forward, others need to know what advice is helpful, the different grieving process for each age group, and knowing the impact that the loss of a parent can have. At the time when a child is grieving for their parent, it is most crucial for others to express that they will “be there.” Each age group expresses their grief in different ways, and it is essential for counselors to know and to understand the age groups. With this knowledge, this will allow them to determine what strategies that is most affective to help a child’s or young adult’s grief. However, many children have difficulties when coping for the loss of their parent and may attempt suicidal actions. Many have the difficulty to comfort a child who is grieving for their parent, because many feel puzzled on how to assist these children. If others had more knowledge on the subject, then more children would be more accepting of their parent(s) death. 

Annotated Bibliographies

Morgan, James P., and Jesse E. Roberts. "Helping Bereaved Children And Adolescents: Strategies And Implications For Counselors."Journal Of Mental Health Counseling 32.3 (2010): 206-217. Academic Search Complete. Web. 21 Apr. 2013.
            James P. Morgan and Jesse E. Roberts argue the death of a loved one has variety affects of different ages. Furthermore, counselors need to provide different strategies to assist with coping and different age groups. Also counselors need to provide different strategies to assist with coping, by investigating different strategies and how they help. They need provide variety of ways to assist grieving in different age groups. The article provides information on how each age group reacts to losing a loved one and how counselors can use different strategies to support children in different age groups.
 Karakartal, Demet. "Investigation Of Bereavement Period Effects After Loss Of Parents On Children And Adolescents Losing Their Parents." Online Submission (2012): ERIC. Web. 23 Mar. 2013.
           The author, Demet Karakartal, states that children, whom experience the loss of a parent, deal with problems in their everyday life such as school. In this study, children and adolescents are interviewed about their loss of their parent and how they have been able to cope. They were also asked during the time period that they were trying to cope, who was there to assist them in their time of need. The results showed that the grieving process was longer for young adults and adolescents, who have loss a parent than adults. Also schools and social relationships were affected negatively. The article provides the quoted answers from the children and adolescents in the interview.
 Heather Servaty-Seib, et al. "Bereaved Adults' Evaluations Of Grief Management Messages: Effects Of Message Person Centeredness, Recipient Individual Differences, And Contextual Factors." Death Studies 32.5 (2008): 399-427. ERIC. Web. 23 Mar. 2013.
          The article investigates different strategies to support a person who is grieving and whether they are helpful or not. In addition, if the effectiveness of the strategies was determined by function of demographic, personality, and situational factors. The results showed that a person “being there” while another was grieving was the most effective strategy. Also the supporter’s centeredness was strongly correlated with helpfulness towards the grieving person. The article provides the advice/compliments that are commonly used when assisting someone who is grieving and how effective each one is.

Essential Questions

Essential Question: Does the loss of a parent have a positive effect on the child emotionally? Thesis Statement: The loss of a parent can have a positive effect on the child emotionally, because in the long run the child can be more emotionally stable if the other parent prepares the child for the death, if the child is a young adult, and if society can help the child cope for the loss of a parent. How: How can society help a child cope with the loss of a parent? Should: Should a child take the loss of a loved one as a motivation to do well in school, careers, etc? Why: Why should a child take a loss of a parent as an obstacle in life? What if: What if your parent died when the child was a young adult? Which one: Does it affect the child greater if the child knew that their parent was dying?

PSA: There is a brighter side

The meaning behind my background

Many of you are probably wondering why I chose this background for my blog. I chose this background because it represents what happens when a child is going through the death of a parent. At first it seems very misrable, dark, and you wonder how time can continue. After time goes on, you start accept of what has happend, and then you move try to move on with your life. For anyone that is struggling with the same situation, remember one thing, you can do it and there is a brighter side. I know that this blog is for children to look try to accept what has happend to their parent, but it can also benefit for anyone who has lost a loved one.

Poem: November 13, 2010

When I was a little girl, I always drew my house with Mommy, Daddy, and myself

I always thought that Mommy and Daddy would live forever and ever

That was until November 13, 2008

That was when my heart shattered into millions of pieces

The angel from above took Daddy away from me

Daddy was always in an out of my life

He was a good dad

The decisions that he made were not

But I always loved him no matter what

When I was eleven

The time that I was entering middle school

Also going through that weird thing called puberty

I did not hear from my dad for a year

 Then I heard that he was locked up in jail

And I did not know for how long the bars of his cell would keep him from me

My heart started to shatter like glass

This was only the beginning of the long and difficult journey that was still ahead

Later I found the evil monster; nicknamed cancer invaded his body that started with his lungs

My heart then again shattered more

He was released from jail so he could get better

I was happy to see him

But I did not want to see him like this

The monster consumed not only his lungs but the monster masked my Dad

He was not the same person that I have always known

He was not the Dad that I have shared giggles with as a little girl

He was not the Dad that I shared Saturday morning cartoons

He was a not only a new person but a stranger

As time passed on like a boulder going down a mountain

The monster was pursuing its goal of taking my dad away from me

The boulder was about to reach the ground

The stranger that I have known for the last month

Was laying on a hospital bed, dying, reaching for his last breath

The boulder reached the ground and my heart shattered like glass

The stranger that took over my Dad’s body was gone

So was my father

And he was gone for good

Many people called this day November 13, 2008

I call this day the worst day of my life

My mother told me the news that day

All I heard was the words running out of her mouth

“Your father…..is ….. gone”

How could a mother tell her child those words in the same sentence

Tears ran down my face like a stream

Tick tok Tick tock Tick tok

That was the sound of the clock moving forward

But my heart and brain was still in the past

My mother tried to comfort me

But it was not the same

He was my one and only dad

No one could replace him

That was my excuse for not moving on

He was gone

That was a fact

I cannot move on with my life

That is an opinion

I let those words consume with my life

I let those words hold me back

But I am stronger

I am in control with life

I am going to move forward with my life

I am going to do what I want to do

I am going to dream what I want to dream

This is my life

I am in control

Like my father would want for me

 

 

 

Results of Research Memo

Figure 1: Choose your gender

Figure 2: Choose age group.

Figure 3: The loss of a parent can have an effect on the child emotionally because in the long run the child can become more emotionally stable...

Figure 4: True or false: After one parent dies, the remaining parent and the child can grow a stronger relationship.

Figure 5: Yes or No: Have you had a parent or both that have passed away when you were a child or a young adult

Figure 6: Agree or Disagree: Do you think that a society as a whole does the best of their abilities to try to help children or young adults of overcoming a loss of a parent?

Figure 7: What age group do you think affects the child the most when the parent has passed away?

Figure 8: Do you think that a child can take the loss of a parent as a motivation to do well in school, life, career, etc

 

Research Memo (I will publish the results on a different post)!!!

Hypothesis:

            Over the years, I have seen the death of a parent take a toll of a child’s life, including myself. I believe that everybody can take the loss of a parent as motivation to do well in life, school, career, etc. However, many think that losing a parent can only do harm. I believe this is because many children do not have the support system they need. With this survey, I have asked  respondents questions such as,  have you lost a parent or both, do you think that a child can take the loss of a parent as a motivation to do well, and what age group is affected the most when they lose a parent. With these results, I expect to see that the respondents do not agree with my opinion. However, I hope I am proven wrong.

Context:

            My target audience is people fifteen years and older because these are people who are old enough to realize what the affect losing a parent can have. I discovered from my pilot testing that many did not understand some of the survey questions and they needed clarification. My results were reliable and valid because these are the opinions of the respondents. None of these questions are biased because the respondents were able to answer questions by stating their full opinion.

Data analysis:

            First, I looked at the people who have had a parent or both parents pass away. There were few that fit in this category; however, I have found many trends. The first trend that I noticed was in questions three and four. I asked how you thought society could help a child cope with the loss of a parent and what would you say to a child who is trying to overcome the death of their parent. I noticed that these respondents put more thought and emotion to their answers. I believe this is because these people have been in that position and maybe hope that their words can motivate others, who are in this position. The next trend was in question six. I have asked respondents to order the importance (Number 1-5, 1 being the greatest help a child test) of whom could help a child cope with the death of a parent. All of the thoughtful responses that were given had the choice “the child themselves” as number one or two. I believe this is because most of my respondents are young adults, who at this age try to do things on their own and try not to express their feelings. The last trend in this category was in the last question which asked, do you think that a child can take the loss of a parent as a motivation to do well in school, life, career,

Etc? All those who have answered the question, thoughtfully, put agree or disagree. I believe this is due to the fact that many of the respondents have probably gone through the loss of one parent,

O r both, for a long period of time and have had time to look back at their journey and realize that they have to move forward in life.

The next category that I have noticed many trends in was from my female respondents. The first trend was in question six. I have asked respondents to order the importance (Number 1-5, 1 being the greatest help a child test) of whom could help a child cope with the death of a parent.  Those who answered the question thoughtfully, have all placed the choice “the parent who is not dead” as number one. I do not have any theories on why this is. Next, I noticed a trend question seven. I have asked true or false: After one parent dies, the remaining parent and the child can grow a stronger relationship. Most of my respondents answered true. This may be due to the fact that females tend to be more open about their feelings rather than men. Then I noticed in question nine. I have asked Agree or Disagree: Do you think that a society as a whole does the best of their abilities to try to help children or young adults of overcoming a loss of a parent, most of the female respondents put disagree and strongly disagree. I don’t know why this may be. Another trend that I have noticed was in question five. I have asked the loss of a parent can an effect on the child emotionally because in the long run the child can become more emotionally stable…. Those who have chose the answer, if the child is a young adult, which means that the child has more of an understanding of the situation. Most of the respondents that answered question six put friends as number one or two. I do not know why this would be, but I would like to do some more research. 

Conclusion:

            Looking back at my survey results, I am surprised at what I have collected. In the results I noticed some trends, most of them I have come up with explanations of why these trends happened. However, there are some I cannot figure out why they have happened. The trends that I cannot figure out why they happened could lead my project in a new direction.

Follow up:

 With my secondary research, I want to look up the reasons why some of the trends in my survey results happened. Also, I want to take question five, which asked the loss of a parent can have an effect on the child emotionally because in the long run the child can become more emotionally stable.... With this question, I gave a few choices that the respondents could select. I chose this question because I feel that I did not give my respondents enough options choices that would best represent their opinion. Also, I feel that most of my respondents guessed on this question due to the limited choices. If I were to conduct a second survey, I would re-word this question and give my respondents a free response.

Work Cited

Morgan, James P.Roberts, Jesse E. "Helping Bereaved Children And Adolescents: Strategies And Implications For Counselors." Journal Of Mental Health Counseling 32.3 (2010): 206. MasterFILE Premier. Web. 7 Feb. 2013.

 

Exploratory Essay

There is a brighter side

            Today, in our society losing a parent is something that should be looked at as negative. My thoughts were the same until I my father passed away. My father was always coming and going in my life it was not he was a bad father, but the decisions that he has made were not the best. When I was eleven, the time when I was beginning middle school and growing up to be young adult, I found out that my father was in jail. Before, this I have not seen him for a year, and then when I was told this news, I wondered when I would see him again. After a while, my dad learned that he had lung cancer, and the cancer has spread all over his body. However, he was released for two months, so that he could get the proper treatment. Unfortunately, after a month he lost his battle with cancer. When he died, I was distraught and wondered how time can go forward, when my mind is still in the past. I was depressed for a long time and not doing well at school. Then I realized that my father would have wanted me to move forward in life and for me to work hard. The loss of a parent can have a positive effect on the child emotionally because in the long run the child can be more emotionally stable. This can be the result of if the other parent can prepare the child for the death, if the child is a young adult, and if society can help with a child cope with the loss of the parent.

            According to the article “Helping Bereaved Children and Adolescents: Strategies and Implications for Counselors” authored by James P. Morgan and Jesse E. Roberts talks about the grieving process of young adults and how to support them. The article states that many adults seem to think that young adults want to keep a distance through the grieving process, because they may be concerned that they are invading their space. However, young adults need the same support as everyone else. Also I found this article to be very helpful because the article was not biased, but the article gave stories of young adults who were going through the loss of a loved one. However, after reading this article I found myself wanting to know more on how young adults can look at the loss of a loved one a motivation do well in school, career, etc.

             In life you have a choice to look at the positive side of things or the negative. Especially, when it comes to a death of a parent, people tend to choose to look at the negative. This may be due to the fact that we have a hard time of accepting death as natural life; instead we mask it by telling ourselves that this person is just taking a “long road trip” forever. In our society many of us do not know how support the younger generation through the loss of a parent, because many of us never went through an event like this in our lives. We need to support children and young adults who are in the process of coping with their loss. For myself, I am not sure if the loss of a parent affects the child greater if the child knew their parent is dying, but it depends on the situation. As for the young adults and children, they need to take the loss of a loved one as a motivation in life. That is why my goal for this blog is to spread the word that there is a brighter side of the situation, and the parents who have died would want their children to move forward in life and to succeed. Like my father would want me to do.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Survey

Please complete this survey and with honesty. Thank you!!
Click on this link to get to the survey: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/17dFRGyzXMtyWCrpvy_dDAg7u7NF1oIzmF_80hxanCzE/viewform