PSA: There is a brighter side

The meaning behind my background

Many of you are probably wondering why I chose this background for my blog. I chose this background because it represents what happens when a child is going through the death of a parent. At first it seems very misrable, dark, and you wonder how time can continue. After time goes on, you start accept of what has happend, and then you move try to move on with your life. For anyone that is struggling with the same situation, remember one thing, you can do it and there is a brighter side. I know that this blog is for children to look try to accept what has happend to their parent, but it can also benefit for anyone who has lost a loved one.

Poem: November 13, 2010

When I was a little girl, I always drew my house with Mommy, Daddy, and myself

I always thought that Mommy and Daddy would live forever and ever

That was until November 13, 2008

That was when my heart shattered into millions of pieces

The angel from above took Daddy away from me

Daddy was always in an out of my life

He was a good dad

The decisions that he made were not

But I always loved him no matter what

When I was eleven

The time that I was entering middle school

Also going through that weird thing called puberty

I did not hear from my dad for a year

 Then I heard that he was locked up in jail

And I did not know for how long the bars of his cell would keep him from me

My heart started to shatter like glass

This was only the beginning of the long and difficult journey that was still ahead

Later I found the evil monster; nicknamed cancer invaded his body that started with his lungs

My heart then again shattered more

He was released from jail so he could get better

I was happy to see him

But I did not want to see him like this

The monster consumed not only his lungs but the monster masked my Dad

He was not the same person that I have always known

He was not the Dad that I have shared giggles with as a little girl

He was not the Dad that I shared Saturday morning cartoons

He was a not only a new person but a stranger

As time passed on like a boulder going down a mountain

The monster was pursuing its goal of taking my dad away from me

The boulder was about to reach the ground

The stranger that I have known for the last month

Was laying on a hospital bed, dying, reaching for his last breath

The boulder reached the ground and my heart shattered like glass

The stranger that took over my Dad’s body was gone

So was my father

And he was gone for good

Many people called this day November 13, 2008

I call this day the worst day of my life

My mother told me the news that day

All I heard was the words running out of her mouth

“Your father…..is ….. gone”

How could a mother tell her child those words in the same sentence

Tears ran down my face like a stream

Tick tok Tick tock Tick tok

That was the sound of the clock moving forward

But my heart and brain was still in the past

My mother tried to comfort me

But it was not the same

He was my one and only dad

No one could replace him

That was my excuse for not moving on

He was gone

That was a fact

I cannot move on with my life

That is an opinion

I let those words consume with my life

I let those words hold me back

But I am stronger

I am in control with life

I am going to move forward with my life

I am going to do what I want to do

I am going to dream what I want to dream

This is my life

I am in control

Like my father would want for me

 

 

 

Results of Research Memo

Figure 1: Choose your gender

Figure 2: Choose age group.

Figure 3: The loss of a parent can have an effect on the child emotionally because in the long run the child can become more emotionally stable...

Figure 4: True or false: After one parent dies, the remaining parent and the child can grow a stronger relationship.

Figure 5: Yes or No: Have you had a parent or both that have passed away when you were a child or a young adult

Figure 6: Agree or Disagree: Do you think that a society as a whole does the best of their abilities to try to help children or young adults of overcoming a loss of a parent?

Figure 7: What age group do you think affects the child the most when the parent has passed away?

Figure 8: Do you think that a child can take the loss of a parent as a motivation to do well in school, life, career, etc

 

Research Memo (I will publish the results on a different post)!!!

Hypothesis:

            Over the years, I have seen the death of a parent take a toll of a child’s life, including myself. I believe that everybody can take the loss of a parent as motivation to do well in life, school, career, etc. However, many think that losing a parent can only do harm. I believe this is because many children do not have the support system they need. With this survey, I have asked  respondents questions such as,  have you lost a parent or both, do you think that a child can take the loss of a parent as a motivation to do well, and what age group is affected the most when they lose a parent. With these results, I expect to see that the respondents do not agree with my opinion. However, I hope I am proven wrong.

Context:

            My target audience is people fifteen years and older because these are people who are old enough to realize what the affect losing a parent can have. I discovered from my pilot testing that many did not understand some of the survey questions and they needed clarification. My results were reliable and valid because these are the opinions of the respondents. None of these questions are biased because the respondents were able to answer questions by stating their full opinion.

Data analysis:

            First, I looked at the people who have had a parent or both parents pass away. There were few that fit in this category; however, I have found many trends. The first trend that I noticed was in questions three and four. I asked how you thought society could help a child cope with the loss of a parent and what would you say to a child who is trying to overcome the death of their parent. I noticed that these respondents put more thought and emotion to their answers. I believe this is because these people have been in that position and maybe hope that their words can motivate others, who are in this position. The next trend was in question six. I have asked respondents to order the importance (Number 1-5, 1 being the greatest help a child test) of whom could help a child cope with the death of a parent. All of the thoughtful responses that were given had the choice “the child themselves” as number one or two. I believe this is because most of my respondents are young adults, who at this age try to do things on their own and try not to express their feelings. The last trend in this category was in the last question which asked, do you think that a child can take the loss of a parent as a motivation to do well in school, life, career,

Etc? All those who have answered the question, thoughtfully, put agree or disagree. I believe this is due to the fact that many of the respondents have probably gone through the loss of one parent,

O r both, for a long period of time and have had time to look back at their journey and realize that they have to move forward in life.

The next category that I have noticed many trends in was from my female respondents. The first trend was in question six. I have asked respondents to order the importance (Number 1-5, 1 being the greatest help a child test) of whom could help a child cope with the death of a parent.  Those who answered the question thoughtfully, have all placed the choice “the parent who is not dead” as number one. I do not have any theories on why this is. Next, I noticed a trend question seven. I have asked true or false: After one parent dies, the remaining parent and the child can grow a stronger relationship. Most of my respondents answered true. This may be due to the fact that females tend to be more open about their feelings rather than men. Then I noticed in question nine. I have asked Agree or Disagree: Do you think that a society as a whole does the best of their abilities to try to help children or young adults of overcoming a loss of a parent, most of the female respondents put disagree and strongly disagree. I don’t know why this may be. Another trend that I have noticed was in question five. I have asked the loss of a parent can an effect on the child emotionally because in the long run the child can become more emotionally stable…. Those who have chose the answer, if the child is a young adult, which means that the child has more of an understanding of the situation. Most of the respondents that answered question six put friends as number one or two. I do not know why this would be, but I would like to do some more research. 

Conclusion:

            Looking back at my survey results, I am surprised at what I have collected. In the results I noticed some trends, most of them I have come up with explanations of why these trends happened. However, there are some I cannot figure out why they have happened. The trends that I cannot figure out why they happened could lead my project in a new direction.

Follow up:

 With my secondary research, I want to look up the reasons why some of the trends in my survey results happened. Also, I want to take question five, which asked the loss of a parent can have an effect on the child emotionally because in the long run the child can become more emotionally stable.... With this question, I gave a few choices that the respondents could select. I chose this question because I feel that I did not give my respondents enough options choices that would best represent their opinion. Also, I feel that most of my respondents guessed on this question due to the limited choices. If I were to conduct a second survey, I would re-word this question and give my respondents a free response.

Work Cited

Morgan, James P.Roberts, Jesse E. "Helping Bereaved Children And Adolescents: Strategies And Implications For Counselors." Journal Of Mental Health Counseling 32.3 (2010): 206. MasterFILE Premier. Web. 7 Feb. 2013.

 

Exploratory Essay

There is a brighter side

            Today, in our society losing a parent is something that should be looked at as negative. My thoughts were the same until I my father passed away. My father was always coming and going in my life it was not he was a bad father, but the decisions that he has made were not the best. When I was eleven, the time when I was beginning middle school and growing up to be young adult, I found out that my father was in jail. Before, this I have not seen him for a year, and then when I was told this news, I wondered when I would see him again. After a while, my dad learned that he had lung cancer, and the cancer has spread all over his body. However, he was released for two months, so that he could get the proper treatment. Unfortunately, after a month he lost his battle with cancer. When he died, I was distraught and wondered how time can go forward, when my mind is still in the past. I was depressed for a long time and not doing well at school. Then I realized that my father would have wanted me to move forward in life and for me to work hard. The loss of a parent can have a positive effect on the child emotionally because in the long run the child can be more emotionally stable. This can be the result of if the other parent can prepare the child for the death, if the child is a young adult, and if society can help with a child cope with the loss of the parent.

            According to the article “Helping Bereaved Children and Adolescents: Strategies and Implications for Counselors” authored by James P. Morgan and Jesse E. Roberts talks about the grieving process of young adults and how to support them. The article states that many adults seem to think that young adults want to keep a distance through the grieving process, because they may be concerned that they are invading their space. However, young adults need the same support as everyone else. Also I found this article to be very helpful because the article was not biased, but the article gave stories of young adults who were going through the loss of a loved one. However, after reading this article I found myself wanting to know more on how young adults can look at the loss of a loved one a motivation do well in school, career, etc.

             In life you have a choice to look at the positive side of things or the negative. Especially, when it comes to a death of a parent, people tend to choose to look at the negative. This may be due to the fact that we have a hard time of accepting death as natural life; instead we mask it by telling ourselves that this person is just taking a “long road trip” forever. In our society many of us do not know how support the younger generation through the loss of a parent, because many of us never went through an event like this in our lives. We need to support children and young adults who are in the process of coping with their loss. For myself, I am not sure if the loss of a parent affects the child greater if the child knew their parent is dying, but it depends on the situation. As for the young adults and children, they need to take the loss of a loved one as a motivation in life. That is why my goal for this blog is to spread the word that there is a brighter side of the situation, and the parents who have died would want their children to move forward in life and to succeed. Like my father would want me to do.