The
death of a parent is one of the most difficult obstacles that a child will ever
face. It is not an everyday situation that is normal for a child to face.
However, it has a great impact on the child’s life. Stated in the article
“Investigation of Bereavement Period Effects After Loss of Parents on Children
and Adolescents Losing Their Parents”, “…states that a child who loses one or
both of his/her parents not only feels sad but also experiences a serious
confusion in his/her life and may tend to face psychological problems in their
future life”(Karakartal 38). It is a long journey for a child to accept the fact
that their parent has passed and to move forward. In many cases, a child may
never move on and to become depressed or to cause self-harm. When a child
experiences death, many look for
comfort from family and friends. However, friends and family do not know how to
comfort these children due to the fact many feel clueless. Furthermore, many
counselors do not understand how grieving differs from each age group. Also do
not know what types of methods can be used when to help a child’s grief. Knowing
what advice is helpful, knowing the grieving process in different age groups,
and knowing the impact that the loss of a parent can have is the key to help
children accept that their parent has passed and to move forward.
According to the article ,
“Bereaved Adults’ Evaluations Of Grief Management Messages: Effects Of Message
Person Centeredness, Recipient Individual Differences, And Contextual Factors”, “…grief, along with its associated thoughts,
feelings, and behaviors, is one of the most powerful emotions that humans
experience, so research examining how communication affects grief may afford
considerable insight about how messages can influence emotional states, as well
as how emotions influence the processing and outcomes of messages” (Rack Burleson Bodie 399). The results of this research showed that the most helpful advice
used were the ones that categorized as “being there”, rather than the advice
that suppressed the person that is grieving feelings. The “being there” advice
included “I am here for you”, “If you need company, I am here for you”, and “I
am nearby if you need me.” Advice that suppressed the person that is grieving
feelings included, “You should keep busy”, “You must get on with your life”,
and “When you feel bad you should exercise.”
According to the
article “Helping Bereaved Children and Adolescents: Strategies and Implications
for Counselors”,
“Children at different developmental levels perceive death differently. An
understanding of these differences is essential if we are to effectively help
children understand and cope with their grief” (Morgan, Roberts, 206). For
instance, preschool children (age 3-6), tend to ask questions about the loved
one who has passed, which includes questions about biological functions. Also,
they believe that death is only temporary and the loved one will return
shortly. When grieving a loved one, teenagers tend to take risk to near death
actions and wonder what happens if they die. Knowing the grieving process for
each age group will assist counselors on the techniques that are needed with
working with grieving children and young adults. For example, young clients
that are having difficulty expressing their emotions, drawings can be used to
express these emotions. This will allow “a more open-ended unfolding of
issues.”
In
the article, “Young people’s risk of suicide attempts in relations to parental
death: a population-based register study”, “Some
studies have found that loss of a parent may also be a risk factor for suicide
attempts in adolescents” (Jakobsen, Christiansen, 176). Although children, who
have lost a parent tend to show that they have accepted what has happened, many
do not, and may attempt self-harm such as suicide. It is important to know what
trajectory that a child may take if they have struggle with their grieving
because in order to come up to a solutions to a problem, we need to identify
the risk to our problem so that it can be prevented.
In
order to assist a child to accept that their parent has passed on and to move
forward, others need to know what advice is helpful, the different grieving
process for each age group, and knowing the impact that the loss of a parent
can have. At the time when a child is grieving for their parent, it is most
crucial for others to express that they will “be there.” Each age group expresses
their grief in different ways, and it is essential for counselors to know and
to understand the age groups. With this knowledge, this will allow them to
determine what strategies that is most affective to help a child’s or young
adult’s grief. However, many children have difficulties when coping for the
loss of their parent and may attempt suicidal actions. Many have the difficulty
to comfort a child who is grieving for their parent, because many feel puzzled
on how to assist these children. If others had more knowledge on the subject,
then more children would be more accepting of their parent(s) death.
